A vineyard allows for a lot of audiobook listening

by Kit Munro

The vineyard covers about twenty acres. It is made up of roughly 170 rows. If it were a single row it would be 30 kilometres long. It would make an extremely long conveyor belt at a factory. Each plant takes anywhere from 40 seconds to 2 minutes to prune. There are 16,500 plants. To prune then, takes some 25, 000 minutes, or 416 hours. 416 hours is a long, long time to be bored.

In that time, the entire works of Dickens could be read once, A Dance to The Music of Time could be read 5 times and War and Peace could be read 7 times. Pruning these 30 kilometres of vines represent a lot of books or a lot of boredom. The choice, has been simple.

The vineyard is laid out in a way that does make for a small amount of variety. Some vineyards are just square, flat grids. This vineyard is made up of two separate blocks.

While one of these blocks is flat the other block is not flat at all. In different places it covers, small gullies, hillsides and even a little plateau right out the back. The contractors who come to harvest always say what a nice vineyard it is to work in, on account of its unusual shape. This vineyard is usually one of the last to be harvested and by the time the contractors reach here they have worked in any number of square, bleak grids.

Still, topography can only alleviate the monotony of the work so much. 416 hours is a long time to be bored but it is also a long time to read…